I am done.

I built myself into a pessimist. I always think about the downsides first. That allowed me some way to offload bit of pressure. I tried to be optimistic couple of times. All of them resulted in major misunderstandings or issues. I hoped things will get better. I hoped I will be able to get out of my shell. I hoped I'd find things I had wanted. But hope is a cruel thing.

I no longer want to hope. I am done. I am so fucking done with life. I cannot live like this any longer. I am not sure where it went wrong. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

They say it all comes down to skill. Yeah, I have skill issues. That's absolutely true. I cannot hold on for any longer. I am tired of pleasing people. I am tired of people calling me lazy. I am tired of being responsible. I am tired of being depressed. I am tired of this world. I am tired of this life. I am tired of me.

I don't know who's reading this. Just know, don't live life like me.